I’m late with the posting this week. I’ve been reflecting on a word that’s brilliant with the light and warmth of one hundred thousand candles. Dignity. I am learning more and more about this word every day. Here is my definition (I did not ask Merriam-Webster about it).
As human beings, we are born with the right to see ourselves in the best light through our own eyes. Dignity is our birthright. When we are unable to uphold our own vision of our best selves, we project our smallness of vision onto others and try to “bully” them into seeing themselves as we see ourselves—without dignity.
It’s almost Christmas. I’m into one of those looking inside places that makes some people hang up the phone with a ”see ya’ later.” Perhaps it’s the long, cold and dark days leading up to the solstice that has me wrapped in the warmth of this word that is wholly connected to respect. Perhaps it’s the memories of all the times someone tried to strip away my vision of my best self through my own eyes. Perhaps it’s just that, with the approach of the solstice and the New Year, I do what I always do every year. I pull out my journal and reflect on the passing year and the changes–large and small–that have pushed me to growth. Have I stayed true to my values? Have I been able to give each person, including me, the space to see her best self through her own eyes? Have I given away my vision of my own best self? Have I been respectful of the planet and its resources? Have I dispersed joy and encouraged dignity, or have I contributed to fear and uncertainty?
I am trying to cut back on my addiction to the “news,” and I try not to dive into the political on this blog. But I’m going to take a bend in the road this evening because I feel like it; and because it’s my blog.
It doesn’t matter whether a person is pro- or anti-abortion, pro- or anti-death penalty, gay or straight, a man or woman, a Democrat or Republican, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist. If a person cannot carry his words of life in a way that supports dignity in all people, he is using up precious oxygen and stripping away someone’s vision of her best self through her own eyes. I say, save the oxygen.
Dignity. The right to see ourselves in the best light through our own eyes.
The days before the winter holy days are a perfect time to re-affirm a committment to treat every person with dignity and respect through the next year. It’s a challenge, right? So, what else is new?
U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton gave a historic talk on December 6 before the United Nations on the rights of LGBT individuals throughout the world. And while her emphasis was on this particular struggle, I took away the moving lesson around which she weaved her message: it is the absolute right of every single person to be treated with and live his or her life in dignity and respect. You can find it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MudnsExyV78
This is my continuing goal for the New Year. Yours?
Sala
Sassy
Sassy.
I love s words. Ssssssssssss. Especially this one.
May all young girls grow up to be sassy women. Don’t take no stuff. May they not let anyone put them down or define them in words that aren’t their own words. I don’t care who they might be. Father. Husband. Mother. Sister. Boss. Minister or priest. Girlfriends.
Sassy. Sometimes it takes decades to get to that place of courage. But get there, prayerfully, we will. Easter is coming. It’s a time of rebirth. Let us as people, and especially as women, be reborn to the magnificence of the light within us.
I’ve always loved Easter because of the powerful theme of rebirth. It means we have the chance to begin anew. We can armor ourselves (I know…it’s an aggressive word) in the truth of rebirth. We can honor ourselves with rebirth. Rebirth is our protection and our weapon because it holds the magic and power of our personal strength.
Dang. What, you may be asking, set her off this time?
If you have happened across this blog for any length of time, you know that I can get pretty passionate about things that inspire self-respect and inner strength. Today, my passion lies in the insistence that young girls grow up confident in their ability to hold their own in all things. Being sassy is not an easy path.
Sassy. I define myself for myself. No one else defines me. No matter what words they use. No matter who they are.
Not too long ago, I was sitting in a group of women. We were a multi-cultural group of varying ages. A young woman and mother stated that she was feeling pushed to go into a career that she didn’t like because of the money she would make. She wanted an artistic career. She wanted to explore her options. All of a sudden, some of the women — women who had crushed their own dreams and desires — were all over this girl, blabbering all the things we have heard all of our lives. Be practical. There’s no money in the arts. Make a living. And..did I already say this? – be practical. I saw the light of doubt flicker in her eyes, and I thought of all the times I chose practicality over my heart.
Well. Folks who know me know that when it comes to women’s dreams, I’m going to go on the aggressive. And I was all over these folks like white on rice as I defended her right to decide for herself how she would make a living, and explained lovingly — to her directly — that only she could decide, but that she had the right to her dream. She had family support. Why not?
The women reminded me of too many misery filled women of my generation who made the wrong choices, and now want others to swim in the waters they’re drowning in. In the end, my message is: Young women, define your selves, and, if you are aware, do not make choices out of fear.
Women. We, too often, say yes when we mean no. We become afraid of being alone and think that alone means lonely. Women. We, too often, play coy and lead people to the belief that they have to take care of us and that we are willing to go along when — really — we are not willing to go along. Women. We may tell someone that she looks just great when she has spinach in her teeth. Where do we learn these passive aggressive behaviors? Sad to say, but it’s often from other women. Our inability to stand in the truth of our own strength leaves us feeling like limp celery in the important areas of our lives. We just won’t call back rather than saying “don’t talk to me that way.”
A friend showed me a trick the other day . Cut off the bottom of a piece of limp celery, and stick that thing in a glass of water. It firms up again. Rebirth.
I know. Men have issues, too. But in so many ways, society has given them a foot ahead of the starting line. No one — no exceptions — can define a person better than that person herself. We are as we see ourselves to be.
Be Sassy. Tell the truth. Be sexy. Be creative. Be talented. Be all that we can be. God put that energy inside of us. S/he placed those desires within. S/he doesn’t intend for the fire to be put out.
Use the s word. Sassy. Sassy begins with an S. Rebirth begins with an R. S follows R in the dictionary. Be Reborn. Be Sassy. Have a glorious rebirth and a magnificent spring!
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